Hello, I'm still here!

Okay just a quick note to say I'm still alive and kickin'. I now know why most "mommy blogs" are run by SAHM's. Because if you have been out at work (talked and carried on conversations with random strangers) all day, the last thing you want to do is come home and talk some more. Now I know, I only work two days per week (except this week turns out to be four days), but still I feel rather brain-dead lately when it comes to chatting topics. But here is one pet peeve I have: the term "SAHM". It implies we sit at home all day and do nothing because after all we just stay at home. NOT TRUE!!!! As any mother will tell you, whether she works outside the home or not, that being a "Mom" is a 24-hour-a-day-7-days-a-week wear-you-out endeavor. We don't just sit around while the guys go to work. So we need to come up with  a new term for Mommies who don't work outside the home. And yes, I'm too tired to come up with any ideas right now, so will just have to sit on that one.

In the mean time, I have a pile of laundry to fold and should feed the kiddo dinner...

TTFN!

A Blog Announcement, and Some Thoughts...

So first of all, I'm done. I officially give up. That's right, I cannot post every day, much less post pictures every day. So my "Project 365" lasted maybe a whole 65 days, and a lot less than that if you count the number of posts... I'm just gonna do my best to have fun on here, because that was the whole original point anyway--me having fun writing and hoping that other people enjoy reading it. I figure it like this: I am not always a prolific person, and if there's anything worse than writing when you have no ideas, it is reading what that person wrote when they had no thoughts swirling around worth putting down: am I right, people?

I do hereby promise never to write when I have no purposeful thoughts.

One thought I did have a few minutes ago was why does Pampers bother making their "Overnight Protection" diapers? In my experience with diapers (considerable especially in the last several months), overnight diapers should hold more pee than regular diapers. It is that way with Huggies. But I honestly cannot tell the difference with the Pampers. Their overnight diapers are no better than the Swaddlers, and I think maybe the Swaddlers are a tiny bit better. Anyway, the Swaddlers are officially the winning diapers here, sooo glad they are in the bigger sizes now!

Also, I made breakfast cookies today, and they were awesome. I found the recipe on someone else's blog via pinterest. I think the only thing I might do different would be to add some dried fruit, like raisins or maybe blueberries (or chocolate chips, but chocolate should not be a normal breakfast ingredient, should it? If I'm going to eat chocolate for breakfast I'll just eat it straight instead of mixing it in to something healthy ;)  ). Also I didn't have any plain yogurt so I just used some peach yogurt; I couldn't tell the difference and hubby certainly hasn't noticed!  But now I am out of oats, raisins and dried blueberries not to mention chocolate chips. Yep I better quit this and go add those things to my list.

Life Passes On--What Will You Leave Behind?

So I found out several days after I wrote the last post that my Grandpa had passed away the day before--October 9th. He was 93 years old and was a good man who was very devoted to his wife and loved his children and grandchildren. We were, thankfully, able to go to his funeral; it was an 8 hour drive each way but Small Boy did amazingly well even though it was a very long 2 days. I learned several things about him at his funeral that I never knew, such as he was a poet; I knew he loved reading poetry but I didn't know he wrote it. He also wrote an autobiography, which we are looking forward to reading once Dad gets us a copy. Grandpa even had well-laid-out funeral plans that not even Grandma knew about--she and Dad discovered them in his files; it was amazing hearing Grandpa singing Taps at his own funeral, and hearing the final farewell letter he wrote to be read at his graveside service.

A death of someone in the family, someone who has been around longer than any of the rest of us, really makes you think. Makes you think about your own life, makes you reevaluate what you are doing with your life, what is really important in the end, where you will spend eternity, in essence, what the chief end of man is. It makes you better know the rest of your family/friends who are entwined in that person's life, for better or worse...  And it also gives you a looser grip on things--you know, the things that seem so important now that may not have any significance at all later--those little squabbles with your spouse, irritations with your kids, etc. Because what really matters in the end is our love for God, and how we loved and cared for the people we left behind; did we leave behind painful memories and regrets for people to deal with on top of us leaving them, or did we leave them smiles and love to comfort them in their grief? No relationship is perfect, and that includes my grandparents marriage, but do you know what Grandpa left Grandma to remember after their 67 years of marriage? In Grandpa's last years he had severe dimentia and could hardly speak; but he carried around with him a card that said "I Love You" and would every day throughout the day, come up to Grandma when she was busy doing things, tap her on the shoulder and show her that card. THAT, people, is what we should focus most on leaving as our legacy. LOVE. And how much more love do we as Christians have to offer; for we have Christ as the greatest example of love-giving ever--He gave Himself that we might live again, in eternity with Him!

So as you go about your days and weeks and you feel yourself burdened with the cares of this world, do not give them more energy than necessary. Give your energy to loving those around you, and show them the perfect love that Christ gave you.

 

AWOL; Busy just being a Mama! (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #24)

"Hewwo, I'm back!" (Visualize that said by a curly blond 2-year-old boy). I guess I just have to admit to myself that this project is going to more like keeping this blog going for 365 days, as opposed to my original goal of 365 posts in a year. Honestly, I have been just so tired at the end of every day that I just drop on the couch with no thoughts in my brain but what those of whatever show I choose to watch on Netflix puts there.
Complete exhaustion is getting old. Really old. I'm sorry but I'm just being honest. Some days I get discouraged that I'm not "that Mom" that you hear of so often these days on blogs or the impressions you get of what a mom should be like on Pinterest. And then I occasionally find one that reminds me that my daily life is normal; that life as a mom is never "perfect". It is not always homemade bread, whole natural foods that the whole family loves, clean dishes and a shiny kitchen. It is not a always a mom who happily says that she can do "it all" because sleep is optional and she thrives on burning the candle at both ends. Don't get me wrong, it is sometimes those things, and some moms can thrive on 5 hours of sleep each night (but that's not me!). Yes, of course, we all try to feed our families healthy food, and we always try to give our families all of ourselves and more, because that is who we are. We are always trying to do the best we can for our families.
Here is what my real life has been lately. Going to bed to late, and yet still getting up at 6:30am because I know that if I get up (and get Boy up) much later than that, then he won't take a nap, then he will be over-tired come 5:30pm and fall asleep in the living room. I transfer him to his bed and he sleeps all night; but it is the next week of naps and bedtimes that we pay for that one missed nap. That being said, he is a very busy boy with a growing brain who likes to talk to all his "friends" instead of napping even on a good day. Breakfast consists of Honey Nut Cheerios and milk, then Cream of Wheat or pancakes or dutch baby, or french toast. Lately, lunch has been pepperoni and possibly yogurt then goldfish and frequently more cheerios. Then dinner is canned tomato soup to which I add grated cheese that I get in a 5lb bag from Costco, more pepperoni and goldfish, topped off with homemade peanut butter cookies (which have regular sugar and white flour and butter or margarine and Skippy). He quit eating applesauce last week and hasn't eaten oatmeal or scrambled eggs in months. He loves Fruities (Beechnut or Parent's Choice) provided they don't have pears in them; something about the consistency of pears is bad, he never has liked them, and believe me, it's not for lack of me making him eat them!
But here's the thing, those issues of what he will or won't eat and how many naps he actually took this week are not what life as a mama is all about. Those are of course important factors that every good mama works on, but they are not the defining moments. Being a mama is reading him a story only to have him completely change the subject and start pointing out the various animals on the back of the Golden Book, complete with awesome "ephant" squeals. It is getting out the alphabet puzzle and seeing that he knows where all the letters go, even though he gets sidetracked halfway through putting it together. It is him hearing a firetruck and saying "Whas dat?" several times until he makes the connection between the sound and the sound his Mickey firetruck makes and his little face lights up as he understands. It is him saying "Tank ou, nor welc" when the fast food guy hands us the bag that he knows contains frys for him--he has started adding "your welcome" after "thank you" because we always say it to him so he thinks he is supposed to say both phrases together. It is when I take him to bed at night and he says "chair, hold?" and then when I sit he curls up his little legs and snuggles up with his head under my chin and chatters as he tries so hard to stay awake and I try to tell him it is time for ni-nites and then I fall asleep before he does. It is the way he gets sooo excited when Papa gets home from work, and immediately wants to be picked up so he can chatter and then wants back down and starts telling Papa about his animals. It is the way he will run into the kitchen or whatever room we are in and say "Hi! Whatcha doin'?" every 30 seconds. It is indeed just all those little wonderful things that we enjoy every day and can easily be forgotten if we get bogged down in the minutia of what he "should be" eating or how much he "should be" talking or whether he "should be" potty trained.
He is growing and learning each day, and in the blink of an eye he will be a teenager and blink again and he will be a Papa and we will be grandparents. You see, I am realizing (and yes I'm also preaching to myself here) that each day we must focus on the happy things, the fun things, the things that make us smile. Then we can truly be content each day and be ready and refreshed to face whatever eating and sleeping challenges may come. I will probably always be a little exhausted as long as I have little ones running around, no matter how good my routines I develop. No matter how experienced I may get over the years with the picky 2-year-old phase, I will still encounter days that make me want to throw up my hands and just give them cookies for breakfast. But that's okay because that's just part of what real life is like. For most of us mamas, anyway.
And now I will head back to finish up some kitchen work and promise to try to return in less than 10 days next time.

I am a bit of a distracted, scatter-brained work-aholic; it's not my fault though, I was born this way! (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #23)

Does your day ever feel like that? Like all the various parts of it are like those dinosaur "stickies" scattered every which way over the tv screen--no seeming orderliness with maybe a hint of a blur? Mine often does, but here's hope (you know, can't fix the problem until you have a diagnosis). I have "discovered" a "new" Mommy disorder today; it's actually a version of ADD ;) and it's not really ADD, it's called Multi-tasking Mama Syndrome, or MTMS (because MMS is already taken :/ )  I definitely have his disorder; I was trying to clean off the pile on my one "free" counter space and found myself putting away the ironing board, scrubbing the toilet bowl, and I don't know what else... I don't really have ADD, but I have become such a multi-tasker, always feeling the need to be busy and get things done, that I can drive myself a little crazy with it, especially since if you are multi-tasking too much you don't ever finish any of those fifteen projects...  The following paragraphs illustrate my point.

Am I crazy? It is nearly 10pm and I am so tired I cannot get off this couch. I want to cross stitch, but I know I will mess up on my counting, and then spend another night taking it out... But I always feel I should be doing something, I cannot just sit here, even though I cannot peel myself off the couch. So I am writing. While watching the Dick Van Dyke show. Because I cannot just sit and watch apparently. But this is using up my nervous energy enough so that at least I am not feeling completely berserk. And I also just remembered I owe my Grandma a letter, maybe I should start that too...
You see, I come from a seemingly long line of work-aholics. Which drives my husband nuts. I am probably the mildest in my family. Two of my brothers cannot sleep in or sit still to save their lives; I clearly remember a vacation with one brother in which the last day at the cabin we were staying, he wanted us all up by 7am so he could get the sheets off our beds to start the laundry, never mind he already had the washer running and he wouldn't be ready for our sheets for another hour and a half :) And it's not like there was even a check-out time to worry about, the cabin belonged to a friend of his :)  Do not worry though, little brother, I am only amused and was awake and ready to get up anyway. And we did have a wonderful weekend!
My other brother gets up at 4 or 5 am to have a long workout every morning before he goes to work, then works out again after work! I don't remember my Mom ever sitting down to read a book just for fun, she was always too busy!
Now at the old age of 30+, I am having to just learn to relax, because all this being constantly busy is bothering my blood pressure. Well at least it's bothering my heart rate...So I think I should just shut this computer and do something more relaxing like read a magazine. Or write in my journal--by hand; that at least forces me to move slower since I cannot write as fast as I can type. 

A few days ago I caught myself watching something on Netflix, reading a magazine, and eating, all at once. And I noticed I was only feeling more stressed and less relaxed. The ironic part was I was reading an article about how women need to truly relax more; about how we as a group have to learn to relax. It was saying how most of us, if we just took some time to ourselves for just a short while, we (and our families!) would feel better! Of course, then it described exactly what that might mean and it definitely did not involve multi-tasking! For me, it means if I sit down to watch something, then I am ONLY watching (well, and probably eating or sipping coffee). If I am cross-stitching and want to watch something, then I will pick something I have seen many times so that the background noise is just relaxing and since I already know the story line, I can just look up and listen occasionally (for that I will pick Everybody Loves Raymond, or maybe Sleepless in Seattle, or, well, you get the point). Now, if you are not a Type A, you will probably just shake your head and conclude that I am a little bit nuts; but if you are like me, please try to take some time to yourself today. Close your computer (or at least quit trying to read useful things) and just chill! The dirty dishes, the grocery list, the meal planning, and the mopping can wait. Right now you just need to breathe. And yes I am preaching to myself, so with that, I am going to close my computer and eat lunch. Then maybe I will feel less light-headed and out of breath. :p

 I'm linking up today with

Random thoughts of a Mama of a Two-year-old Boy (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #22)

Okay, apparently I am getting lazy; I don't have any other terribly good reason for my lack of daily posts. Of course, I'm not taking many pictures lately and that isn't helping either. I guess I'm just busy and feel slightly braindead by the end of the day (understatement of the year...).  I failed to mention that I got the job I was talking about last week. Of course that's good because I now have a predictable two-day-a-week work schedule; but those days are long, let me tell you! Barely any time for lunch, and it's between 10 and 11 hours between the time I leave the house to the time I get back, and I only work 10 minute drive from home. Hopefully I'll get faster with all that "paperwork" but at the rate the boss seems to pile extra stuff on, I'm not too hopeful for shorter days...but I am still somewhat hopeful.

Small boy has been having worse trouble with skipping naps; he is tired but just can't (or won't?) seem to sleep. So we decided to day that starting tomorrow, we are all just going to get up earlier in the morning; then maybe he will take his naps again and sleep better at night. As is, when he skips naps he is exhausted by 4:30 or so, in bed by 6pm, then wakes up several times in the night, then is just more tired the next day, is overtired and can't sleep, and the cycle continues... So wish us luck; it's gonna be hard to drag this Mama and Papa out of bed at 6am being as we rarely make it to bed before midnight... This is where I would insert an "Ode to Coffee" if I were more creative...

Today I was contemplating the many things you don't think of before you become a parent. Like that the light turning on in Boy's bedroom means he has climbed up and is standing on top of the changing table, and will next be getting into the rolls of wrapping paper that are hidden behind the changing table. And that you instinctively know the sound of all your safety pins being dumped out of their little box--the first time you ever heard them dump out (yes I spent 10 minutes closing them all one by one when I put them back into the little box!). And that you know the difference between the patter of those little feet on the linoleum outside the bathroom and the sound those feet make inside the bathroom, and that you have about three seconds to make it into the bathroom before he gets into the cupboard and pulls out your blow dryer (and you know that sound too) or before he turns the hot water knob on in the bathtub (because the people who designed that bathroom 50 years ago thought the tub should be facing the direction that makes the hot knob most accessible to little hands). And then you start thinking that the apartment bathroom designer person must not have had children and then you wonder if you are slightly crazy for nitpicking the direction the bathtub is turned but you know you are not crazy, you just have a two-year-old. And of course, there is always that distinctive sound of trouble, silence; today I found Boy standing on top of the back of the armchair that is in his room that I sit in when he wants to be held before bed. Yep, standing on it, rearranging the hangers in the closet (yes, I can only shake my head in dismay and think how wrong that quote is that says "God couldn't be everywhere so he made Grandmas" #1--kinda blasphemous, I don't need to explain...#2-- kiddos only survive toddlerhood because God is there watching them when Mom isn't and Grandmas certainly can't...#3--Oh my goodness where shall I start with the fallacy of that???) But you get my point, it is definitely only by the grace of God that kids make it through the body-first-brains-maybe-later stages!

Anyway, after rescuing my sewing box from Boy, playing a lot or at least trying to keep him busy playing,  then attempting naptime, we went to visit great Grandma, during which I did my normal up-and-down off the chair I was silly enough to bother sitting in, in order to keep him out of trouble, and then he fell asleep on the car ride home. Grandma commented it's a wonder I'm not as thin as a rail keeping up with him; and yes, I agree, it is a wonder how I have gained back 10 lbs in the last year... :(  I am now thoroughly exhausted so the dishes will have to wait till tomorrow. I am in this couch and not getting up... 

Learning to live with baby loss, and a prayer request (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #21)

This picture was taken (by hubby) of me and Small Boy the morning of August 23, 2012. We had just found out the previous day that I had miscarried our second child. I was a little over 11 weeks pregnant, and the ultrasound had revealed a baby a little over 8 weeks size with no heartbeat. The next day I had a D&C; not so painful, just absolutely heartrending. I still remember those two days as though they were occurring right now. Those hours of crying together in the doctor's office, the wondering why and the wishing I would just wake up from the horrible dream.
I am slowly learning to deal with it, some days I am fine, others I still just can't seem to cope with the reality that I would have a 5ish month old baby right now.  You wonder why I picked today to write about this; it is because it takes time. Time to think, process, and sort out your emotions after losing a baby. It is something you think about daily; I am just now getting to the point where I can think about it without bawling. And I don't always think about it daily anymore. This year on August 22nd I was going to write about my story; but that day was (mercifully) filled with many things to do, besides taking care of Small Boy who was having a rough day. I wrote a post that day, but it never dawned on me what the date was. Two days later, I realized; and I felt horrible for having forgotten. But then as I was talking to hubby about it that night, I knew that while I had forgotten the exact date, I was healing. Our very precious baby #2 was in heaven in the best of circumstances, while I was caring for our precious Small Boy here on earth. We will never forget our Angel Baby, but I am also learning that part of healing is knowing that Angel Baby is in the best place possible; sitting at the feet of Jesus, free from ever having to experience the cares, sorrows, and pains of the earth.
Strange as it may sound, me coming to fully trust in that fact, of my Baby being in heaven, was hard for me. I wanted to believe it, and I didn't think for a moment otherwise. But that was not how I was raised, so I needed some solid Biblical teaching to help my belief that God would protect our little one. Hubby bought a book on his Kindle, Safe in the Arms of Jesus, by John MacArthur, which was recommended by our pastor, and I finally brought myself to read it this spring. Mamas (and Papas), who have lost your little ones, please read that book; you may cry the whole way through, as I did, but it will bring healing encouragement. Even if the material in it is just review for you, it will strengthen your spirit just to be reminded that the One who is greater than all of us is caring for your child.
One very important, but very difficult thing I learned, is that in all of the stages you go through after babyloss, that healing is not forgetting. As you go through those weeks and possibly months of PPD with no little baby in your arms, and you wish you could just sleep for the next year so you wouldn't have to deal with all the pain, just remember that in time, the pain will lessen. It will not just go away one day, you will not just all of a sudden feel better in a couple weeks. I had no idea how hard it would be to learn to adjust to life again.
"Letting go", "moving on" and such phrases come to mind as we think of how to deal with tragedies. But I immediately knew that those phrases do not work when experiencing the loss of a child. I think the best way to describe it is that I am "learning to live with it". I don't mean that in a cavalier way, but in the truest sense of those words. One of the hardest things for me was the nagging feeling that I had to forget what happened if I was ever going to feel better, but knowing full well that I would never forget, that I did not want to ever forget. I have always had the "forget about it and move on" attitude with things in life that affected me negatively, but this was a new thing, one that I would never forget and did not want to forget. I am beginning to learn that learning to live with it means just that; I move through each day knowing that my little #2 is safe in the arms of Jesus, and holding dear the Small Boy that God has given us as a precious gift here on earth. Stopping to read to and snuggle him, and never take him for granted.

Because while he will some day know about Angel Baby, he doesn't now. He just knows that he is little and needs Mama and Papa to care for him. On those nights when I am so tired and he doesn't want to sleep and he just wants to be held, I have learned to stop and pray and thank God for this precious little treasure in my arms who is growing up so fast. I pray God will help me to be a better Mama and that we will raise him to know and love the God who created and cares for him. That is what I mean by living with it. Not that Small Boy or any future children we may be blessed with will replace the one we lost; the one we lost, however, reminds us to have a more eternal perspective on the day-to-day difficulties we encounter now. Contentment that God knows best, and really believing that He does, even when I don't want to.

Now for my prayer request; one of my very dearest friends had a very tragic week last week. She lost her baby girl after 20 weeks of pregnancy. This was to be her third little girl on earth; she has two beautiful little girls who keep her busy every day, and she has already had two early-term miscarriages. I have cried and cried and prayed for her, and still am...This precious mama has a long hard road of recovery ahead of her now; I hope you will all join me in praying for her, and her hubby and daughters, as they go through this tragedy. Pray that as they come through this, they will come through even stronger as a family, and firmer in their faith in God; that He will send his angels to comfort and strengthen them each day as they heal.

I'm linking up today with

Pinterest failures and other news... (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #20)

Okay, so you know that recipe that has been floating around Pinterest for crockpot apple crisp with just two apples? (It calls for 2 apples chopped, then 1/3 c brown sugar, a little cinnamon, 2 c oats and 4 c water). I have been wanting to try it for a while because I love the idea of getting up in the morning and having breakfast done. Take the lid off and serve it up--I mean, that is easier than coffee! Well, easier if you have to add sugar and cream to your coffee; if you drink it black than coffee is faster. But I digress. I was just so excited to get up and see my breakfast ready; but then I saw it.

Yup, it's mushy oatmeal with not enough sugar and no salt. Bleh. So I sprinkled in a little salt and added some sugar. Decent, but nothing special.

So disappointing. I ended up making Dutch Baby for Boy because he wouldn't try the oatmeal; no surprise though, considering his "refined" tastes. Then, because I cannot throw "good" food away, I dumped the leftover oatmeal in a pie pan and put it in the fridge. Maybe I'll talk myself into having some tomorrow or maybe I'll just leave it set in the fridge and then throw it away when it goes bad. I'm just not much for leftover mushy oatmeal--is that bad? So ya, my intuition saying the recipe didn't seem quite right was correct.

The other news is that I got a job today. Quite the shock really, I have been looking for something for the last year and pretty much given up. Two days per week I now get to get out of the house and talk to adults, and Small Boy gets to spend those days with Papa. It works out well for all of us :)

Anyway, hubby just brought in the mail and I got three new magazines. So I'm outa here, folks! <3

Good deals :) (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #19)

As it happens, we had quite the eventful day. Two days ago. Yaaaaa that's me, right on top of things! Anyway, hubby had the day off Friday, so we decided to go thrift store shopping. We didn't make too many great finds, except hubby got a nice vintage jacket that he is "patiently" ;) waiting for me to wash so that he can start wearing it. (I take forever to take care of handwash projects.) (Fall is beginning, so a jacket is a nice accessory these days.) However, the last stop produced something wonderful. Yep, that little beauty of a train set; and it was only $4.99! So after Small Boy went to bed that night I had all kinds of fun cleaning and setting it up just so on his rug so he could play with it as soon as he woke up in the morning. The cars I lined up on the edge of the rug are these cool little construction rigs we found at Costco that day. They are made of kinda soft rubber and are "pull-back-let-go"; and the best part is that they won't break or hurt our feet if Mom and Dad happen to step on them. :)  (Which you may or may not know, is pretty likely if you have a busy little boy who carries his cars all over the house and leaves them in random spots right where you had a clear path to walk three seconds ago.) (Along the same lines, I have realized that parents break far more crayons by stepping on them than children ever do when coloring with them.)

As for this beauty of a dish rack, I was so happy to have acquired it that I have actually been enjoying washing dishes. You see, I have never owned a dish rack. (My mother never did either, just personal preference, I guess.) I have always had a dishwasher until this apartment, and I just never wanted to take up counter space with a dish rack, so I have always just laid any handwashed dishes on a clean towel. Of course since we moved in here, I have wanted this dish rack from Costco. But you see, I could never bring myself to spend $30 on a dish rack, no matter how nice it was -- kinda like buying expensive trash bags... Then every time I decide I will buy one of the cheaper ones at Walmart, I talk myself back out of them because they just look so small and flimsy and inadequate. Anyway, we were meandering down the kitchen wares aisle because I just always love to, and there on the shelf was this dish rack, marked "LAST ONE. $7.00"!!!! I'm pretty sure I squealed with joy right then and there and probably garnered a few funny looks. After all, how many women get excited about a boring white dish rack?! True, I really had my eye on the red one, but of course they sold out before the white ones. Anyway, I am happy to say that I think I finally am able to keep up with the dish washing around here. Who knew my problem was lack of an adequate dish drainer? But then, it has only been two days. :p

Happy Monday, everyone!

Mostly kiddo, aka life with a 2-year-old (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #18)

Okay I didn't quit blogging, it just looked like I quit. I have now returned, with a photo from today to show you how my week has been...Our two-year-old was trying to share Papa's chocolate milkshake, and laid on Papa's computer. Yes, the whole orientation was changed with just a touch of his little knee, but it took us adults more time than we care to admit to figure out how to fix it; it did not just change the orientation of web pages, I just took a picture of that to show you. No, the whole thing was changed, desktop and all. Of course the mousepad continued to operate as though the screen wasn't changed though, so let me tell you it was quite a brain-twister trying to use the mouse--up was right, down was left, right was up, and left was down!

I have had a lousy stomach bug of some sort, and to top it off, I had a working interview also. Which actually went very well, they called me back to do a second one next week. I am now sitting here on the couch, apron still on, because I am only taking a slight break from dishwashing. It seemed like every time I had a chance to wash dishes this week, I ended up with something more pressing to do. Well okay, today that thing was a nap. But yesterday that thing was running out and buying diapers. Not only does boy have eczema on his face, arms, and legs, he has now become allergic to almost every diaper out there. I tried the last holdout this week---Toys'R'Us brand; he got the worst rash where the waistband of his diaper contacts his back. So despite the fact that Costco carries Huggies at a very reasonable price, and he has used them for the last year and a half, and we have tried LITERALLY every other brand that isn't "organic, natural and incredibly expensive", we are back to the brand we used when he was tiny--Pampers. They are probably the most expensive non-organic diapers out there, but until he becomes allergic to them, that is what we are using. Yes I'm praying he doesn't become allergic to them too, because the price only goes up from there, at which point I may be tempted to potty-train, which I did not intend to do until he turns three. Sooo many people say it works best to wait until then, especially with boys, and being as I have a boy who is only barely two and still learning to ask for "nilk", I really want to wait...at least until he learns to express himself in two or three words at a time...

Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Those dirty pots I hid in the oven yesterday are not going to wash themselves...



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Just my thoughts today...(Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #17)

It's only a little after noon and it already feels like 10pm. For some odd reason, I did not sleep much last night. And then when my alarm went off this morning, I shut it off instead of getting up and woke up an hour later and realized my awake boy was still in his crib. At this point I felt like a terrible Mom; yes the monitor had fallen off the nightstand and on it's face on the floor, which is why I didn't hear Boy sooner and get up sooner. Now, he is perfectly capable of climbing out of his crib, he just doesn't unless he feels particularly energetic and impish :) I told him this morning that in the future, he should just climb out of his crib and come get me up; I may regret that tomorrow morning, but oh well. Getting up when you are dead tired is just another facet of Mommyhood. So Boy, although he didn't climb out of bed this morning on his own, was definitely impish this morning. On top of that, I went to the grocery store for a quick few things, and forgot a few important things--like ibuprofen and dish soap. Then when I was trying to get Boy to eat his healthy "applesauce" concoction for lunch and he only wanted to eat a bit and then start throwing his Cheerios, I just began to feel confused. All these thoughts were swirling around in my tired foggy brain about "How to get your toddler to eat" and how some people say he is smart enough to learn to just eat whatever I put in front of him if only I would send him to bed without dinner a couple times, and maybe I just don't make food fun enough, and is he getting enough nutrients. Then (he is now in bed for his nap and I am having more coffee!) I opened my computer and began to read. Here about my first priority being that my heart needs to be in the right place with God, and here about Mamas just being the best that we can be for our children, loving and playing with them, instead of worrying about all of today's hotly debated "Mommy" issues.

Life isn't perfect and it never will be, even if you do have the perfect house with the perfect kitchen to cook the perfect food and the perfect budget to be able to afford all the "perfect" foods. We all have to let somethings go, compromise on some things. Because every day will be different, all your little (and big) people in your life will behave/feel a little different each day, and you will only drive yourself insane trying to keep the picture perfect life/home/kitchen/kids you envisioned when you started out on your own in life. I'm serious, you will drive yourself insane; slowly but surely it will happen. Now I don't mean literally insane. I mean the kind of insane where because you keep insisting on those perfect views of life that aren't ever going to happen, because you persist in maintaining that "flowers and butterflies and marshmallow clouds" view of how things should be, you will become increasingly discontent and unhappy. You will lose sight of the important things in life.

The MOST important thing to focus on, is your relationship with God. Seek His will, pray for His wisdom, study His Word, and all those fuzzy things in life, those confusing "should I do this or should I do it that way" things will become clear.
You can only maintain a proper balance, a happy peace in your home when it is centered around God. Put him first, and all the other things will fall into place; you will begin to see what does truly matter, and what you should just let slide. I am reminded of a Sunday School class a few years ago in which Pastor drew a large triangle on the paper and labeled each corner; the top corner being "God" and the bottom corners being "husband" and "wife". Of course that class was dealing with the basis for a proper marital relationship, but that simple illustration holds true for all of life. God should be at the top, He should be the cornerstone that all of our decisions and interactions are based on.

I know that you will all take away something slightly different from this today; but the main thing to remember is, what is the focus of my home? Is it God or is it something else, something that won't matter a hundred years from now? What is the legacy I am leaving for my children and grandchildren? Is it to be "a man after God's own heart" or is it to be someone who lives up to the world's standards for (say in my case, getting my son to eat peas)? :)  Is it being content no matter what because we have Jesus, or is it always striving to keep up with the latest standards in "whole foods eating"? (Nothing against healthy eating, by the way!)

For me, today, I need to refocus on the top of the triangle. To pick up my Bible and read it, every day, and let God be my focus. If my family is fed and clothed and has clean dishes to eat off of, then I should not be discontent that I can't always keep my sink and stovetop shiny. I will do what I can each day, and then when I start to feel overwhelmed, I need to just stop and pray. Refocus. So now I will go read my Bible, then go wash the dishes; because the dog was licking the dirty dishes, which means I really do need to get the pile a little lower. :p



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Feeding a Picky 2-Year-Old...(Project 365 Writing Photography Challenge; Post #16)

Sooo I am thinking I should really write a post, but the truth is that I am feeling completely brain dead right now. And ya know I'm feeling lazy because I took this pic with my cell phone... Anyway, I just finished off a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream and am watching Netflix. I was also surfing some other blogs. Tonight during attempting to feed Boy something he didn't want to eat, I gave in. That's right, I dropped the burger, rice carrots, and peas all in the blender, then mixed it with applesauce and fed it to him that way. I have been saying for the last year that he doesn't need baby food anymore, so I'm not going to blender/hide his vegies. But I give up. I poured the leftover meat/veg mix into ice cube trays, then cooked/blended some peas/carrots and poured that into the remaining ice cube spots. The funny part was when hubby opened the freezer looking for ice cubes!
Well, I guess being as it is 10:30 pm and I'm not feeling inspired or opinionated enough about any other subject to write on it, I will just promise to return tomorrow with a better brain.

 

Boy's fun times, and Mom's late nights (Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #15)

So yesterday we did indeed go see Great-Grandma. He really loves to visit her, I think largely for her awesome yard and big house with so many things to "explore". But as usual, after the first two hours he slowed down and started climbing up to sit by her and having her play the piano with him. He also discovered a small pair of binoculars in her office and had so much fun with them that she gave them to him. Let me tell you, that made for one happy boy!

He even woke up Papa this morning by shoving them onto Papa's eyes so he could play with them. I could only sit there and laugh :)  It really was one of the cutest things you ever saw. Boy is now supposed to be napping, and I am supposed to be making hubby lunch to eat now and dinner to take to work...and am really clueless as to what those meals are going to consist of... I've had a headache off and on every day for the last week and it is really starting to get on my nerves. It probably doesn't help that we have been staying up till after midnight the last two nights watching movies. Yes, fun, but regrettable the next morning. So tonight my plan is to go to bed by 10:30 or so. Doesn't that sound fun? :)

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #14

Well I clearly should never announce what days I am or am not going to take off from blogging; because I clearly always switch them around. You know, days get busy and life happens...

So today I made this apron. I made it slightly different from my last one, but still need to make some adjustments on the pattern for the next one. Yes, I am going to make more :) I used to have an apron that had a spot I could hang my dishtowel from, so that is what I was going for with this one; but I should have made the pocket/attachment higher, because it now pulls funny from the skirt. I'm going to do a decorative tack stitch and shorten the neck strap a bit tomorrow and then it should be perfect. It took me almost two hours to sew the borders on, and that should have only taken me 20 minutes. But you know Small Boy, up and down, round and round, into "trouble", turning my sewing machine off and on. Ya, I need my own sewing room so I can do these things after he's in bed at night... :)

Anyway, tonight is movie date night (Netflix rocks for parents!) so I gotta go :)  I may go visit Grandma tomorrow, we'll see how boy does with nap...

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #13

I know I said I wasn't going to post today, but I got this picture this morning and just couldn't help but share it :)  Small Boy put Papa's shoes on, then grabbed Papa's hand and took him for a walk through the house, sippy cup in hand. It was really the cutest thing you ever saw. And no, I'm not the slighted bit predjudiced ;)   Anyway, I'm signing back off now, because although Boy is supposed to be napping, he has mastered exiting his crib. 3 times so far in less than an hour and I don't think he's any closer to sleeping. In fact, he is in his bed having quite the conversation with Scout (talking singing dog).  I was just thinking, I put up the long banner of teddy bears I made for his birthday around his room, and he was pretty excited to see them all up there, so it may be my fault he's not in the mood to nap. Anyway, I'm going to eat lunch real quick while I have the chance then since he probably won't be asleep will let him back up. At least he is finally obeying and staying in bed for the moment. And of course no nap means early bedtime; so yay for Mommy! :) 

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #12

Dear Faithful Reader,

I meant very sincerely to post this last night, but when it came down to it, I finished my sewing project at 10:30pm and my hands hurt. Hand-hemming cuffs always kills my hands; but I didn't have the right thread for top stitching with the machine so I had to blind-stitch it by hand. Anyway, I baked cookies yesterday afternoon with Small Boy. First we made the peanut butter, then the chocolate. However, the chocolate were low carb, with soy flour, almond flour, gluten, and Splenda. Disgusting. The very light colored ones are sugar cookies, but are low carb made with almond flour and Splenda. Very tasty! Yay! (You can find the recipe here. I should note that I followed the other reviews and only used 1/2 cup Splenda.) I was so excited when hubby said he likes them that I almost jumped up and down and clapped my hands; except I was feeding Boy dinner and my jumping/clapping would have put his dinner all over the floor. He does that well enough on his own without my help... This is not my first low carb baking session, but it is my first one that actually ended in success. I was especially thrilled considering the cost of the little bag of almond flour-- $10.99--Yikes! However if the recipe turns out good, it is still cheaper than buying Atkins treats/desserts. I also found this morning that you cannot store these cookies sealed in a plastic container; they turn a bit soggy, just like if you  cover the donut box with plastic wrap...so I'm setting them out on the cooling rack again to see if they firm back up. Then I'm putting a good old fashioned cookie jar on my thrift store shopping list. So that is my thrilling story for today, I may take a break tomorrow but I will be back on Monday. Have a great weekend, and go make some thrilling memories!

xoxo,
BakingQueen

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #11

This little shelf is something I look at many, many times each day. It is one of only two decorative shelves that I have up. Really, two is plenty in our little space, but I grew up in a home in which my Mom loves to collect pretty china/glassware and has many shelves and several hutches filled with her beautiful conquests. My shelves, at present, are a little different than your average collection showcase. They do not strike you at first as being valuable or important, but each thing has meaning to me. My mom found me this shelf years ago, shortly after we were married, so on top of it's uniqueness, it has been with us long enough that it has sentimental value. I have always loved the color green, ever since I can remember. I remember telling my little brother that green was a girl color and blue was a boy color, so he couldn't have anything that was green! The little green bowl is depression glass, I got it from Mom long ago; the little green vase is just pretty. The little dried rosebud in the bowl is from the top of my birthday cake this year; hubby got me the most amazing delicious little cake with carnations on top! The little tea tin I got recently in a box of tea, and I have always loved the picture (and the flavor) of this particular tea. The pink pitcher was in my hubby's mother's collection, so it is of course special. (She went to be with Jesus on October 31, 2005--a little over a year after we were married). The little violin my Mom got me because I am a violinist (again, violin is something I have loved ever since I was very young); I think it is a little dish meant to hold jewelry on one's dressing table, but I have always just displayed it. And I'm not sure where I got the bell, I think it was also from hubby's mom.
So you see, each little piece has meaning to me, making the whole a very comforting cheerful spot in my kitchen. That is me, my decorative style--things I love and that have meaning to me. I will probably never be that person who has the perfectly styled home according to the fashion at the time. I enjoy those homes, but those just aren't me. I have read more and more often in some of the recent home decorating magazines, that if you are trying to make a space you truly love, don't worry about things "matching". Take your time, and decorate with those little "mismatched" things you see from time to time that you absolutely love; take them home and they will go together! So as you decorate your own home, don't drive yourself crazy and frustrated looking at all the beautiful room designs from magazines etc. that you think are pretty but just can't afford or can't make them mesh with your home. Just wing it; go with your heart. If you love it, it belongs; if you don't, it doesn't!

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #10

Okay there's a reason I called this a "Writing/Photography Challenge"; and that reason is that there isn't necessarily going to be a reason to take a picture every day. Most days there is photographic material, but this morning was what you might call a brain lapse and this afternoon was just flat busy. I got all the dishes washed and had lots of fun playing with Small Boy. Then I got pork chops in the crockpot with low carb BBQ sauce, then headed to the dentist (where I worked yesterday, but today was me in the hot seat).  And wha-la, $9somethinghundred later, I have a post&core buildup and am awaiting my new crown in three weeks. Oh ya, so much fun I tell ya! (Not photographic material that you would want to see...) Maybe I should also add that I am a much better hygienist than a patient. Yup, a couple shots and an hour plus with the bumpy drill in my mouth doesn't thrill me. So then I got home and was almost ready to leave again when Boy came up and gave me an impromptu snuggle and begged to be picked up again. Wonderful snuggles were had, then I headed back out the door to a job interview. I feel like it went well, so I guess we'll see. Then I headed to the liquor store and rewarded my bravery today with Irish Cream. Anyway, I spent the last hour cross-stitching on the stocking; actually half of my time was spent removing the stitching I did a few nights ago, because I discovered I did it all in the wrong color! :(
So I will say goodbye for now, because I need to finish redoing that area in white thread instead of the cream. Picture tomorrow!

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #9

Yes, it's scrambled eggs. I make eggs every morning, usually scrambled with cheese, sometimes sunny side up. It depends on what meat we are having; if bacon, then scrambled, if sausage, then sunny side up. The logic behind that is infallible--you can't soak up egg yolks with bacon, but you can with sausage. (I really can't take credit for that, I learned it from hubby.)

Anyway, I figured since I am documenting the details of my life this year, I should really not miss these basic daily details.  :)  Such as, I stock up on eggs when they are on sale for $.49/doz at Albertson's. Did you know the "limit 2" is per transaction? Yep, grab as many as you want and then annoy the clerk and all the people in line behind you by ringing up as many transactions as you want. Actually, I doubt the clerk would mind, being as I learned that little trick from a particularly helpful clerk.
Anyway, I will quit rambling now and get back in the kitchen, because I just remembered tomorrow morning is gonna be busy and I should make life easier on myself and cook the bacon tonight while I wash dishes.

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #8

This project is my very dearest. It is a Christmas stocking that I purchased the kit for and started on when I was pregnant, before we even knew whether we were having a Small Boy or a Small Girl. (It is a Dimentions kit, I think I got it from JoAnn's.) But then life got busy and crazy and I really have to be in the right mood to work on cross stitch. So here we are, Small Boy is 26 months old, and I am picking it up for the second or third time this year, thinking that maybe, just maybe, I might finish it before Christmas. I think I will occasionally post pictures of it just as an incentive for me to keep making progress on it.  :)  I know that if I just worked on it 15-30 minutes every evening, I would finish it. I also know that if I attempt it when I am too tired, I just end up taking out all my work the next night because I counted one or two stitches off and that entirely messed up the design. So now I am going to close my computer and cross stitch, before I get too tired.
I would also like to add, that I finally got caught up on dishes for the first time in at least 8 days. I should also admit, that while I got caught up on some tailoring projects for hubby today, I did not get the ironing done that I was going to do. I did leave the ironing board out as an incentive, but just ended up using it as a stand to take the photo of my cross stitch. Okay, enough rambling for now, I better get busy!

Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #7

Alright, today's picture is a mental one for you. You see, my small, busy snuggle of a boy did not take a nap today. Instead, after an hour of attempting naptime, he had a stinky diaper, so I gave him a fresh diaper and that was the end of naptime. I then spent the next hour snuggled on the sofa with him, watching Max & Ruby. He was cuddled right up close, and I had my arms wrapped around him, with his legs over my hands. He likes his legs curled up when he is sitting in the couch. Sometimes he was holding my hand, his little fingers clasping my not-petite hand, and sometimes he was using his little hand to squeeze my arm, and sometimes doing both. His little head was snuggled up against my shoulder and I was the happiest Mama on earth. I wanted a picture of that little hand holding mine, but neither my camera nor my phone were anywhere near, and I was not about to disrupt my Snugglebutton. So that is my picture for you today. If you are a parent, I know you have that same picture of you in your mind with your precious little one(s). And if not, I hope you don't think I am just skipping out on photography today; I hope you understand that sometimes the best photographs are moments which will never be captured, but always remembered and treasured.


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Project 365 Writing/Photography Challenge; Post #6

 Okay, so this little cutie decided he wanted to paint today. And I was finally smart enough to take his shirt off first. These shots are after he was done, right before I dropped him in the bath.

He painted his chest first off, then ended his session by planting both hands on his face :) 

And yes he was so proud of his work! 

So that's it for today, folks. Now go make a mess with your kiddos and have a wonderful day!
Xoxo,
PrettyPaint-CoveredMama