I Can Do It!

Ahhh, what coffee and apple fritters can do for a Mommy's morale is amazing! It's been a rough day and it's only 2 o'clock; I don't know why, other than that I feel lousy. I did get almost 8 hours of sleep last night and Small Boy has been sleeping through the night for months, so my exhaustion is a bit baffling to me. Or maybe it's normal for Moms of 2 year olds? I don't know. I did get a few winks of a nap, hiding my head under my covers and closing my eyes, trying to pretend that I wasn't hearing Small Boy in his bed over the monitor not napping. He did get a good nap yesterday so apparently doesn't think one is necessary today. He has turned into such a big boy--he got his first haircut yesterday and looks like much more little boy and much less baby, except when I see him squatting in the corner doing business in his diaper. He just finished unlocking the front door and now he is surveying the kitchen to see what sort of mischief he can get into.

Now I am sitting down again; he just dragged my by the hand into the kitchen to show me that he dumped all over the floor the bag of apples that I need to turn into applesauce. He is now watching Kipper on my Kindle. My hat off to the moms who do/did it without cartoons; maybe they just have more toys to keep the littles occupied, or maybe they just never sit down. I can personally say that I rarely ever saw my Mom sit until I was in my late teens; and then it was only in the early morning reading her Bible before everyone else was up. I am really having the most fun right now; Boy is still learning to talk and is talking more every day. Right now he is copying about every other sentence on his show or describing what he sees. "'s kite! 's back! 's stuck!" and "opps!" when a stick falls out of the tree and hits Tiger on the head.

I was just reading an article that talked about how moms of "bigger" families "do it". You know, maintain their sanity and still raise 4 or 5 or more children. She very wisely pointed us back to the fact that 1 or 2 is not "easier"; that we are always maxed out to capacity with the number we have, and that if God sees fit to give us more tiny ones, He will also give us the grace and strength and wisdom to raise them. We have to ask God for his help, not just try to do it all on our own! It also reminded me of my and hubby's conversation last night; it has been nearly a year since our miscarriage but still no more babies. I tend to worry a lot wondering if we will be able to have more and then in the middle of that thought comes the self-doubt that I can't handle more because my oldest little treasure already keeps me so busy. Hubby reminded me that all these things are in God's hands, that each one of our children will come at the perfect timing in God's perfect plan. SO  TRUE!!!! I forget so quickly that it's not up to me, it's up to God! Yes, it's good to be an independent, "I can do it all by myself" sort of a person; those are the people who run the world, who are the glue to society, the problem solvers, the business owners, etc. We cannot forget though, if it weren't for God, we couldn't do anything; we would be nothing! It is through Him that we have any abilities at all. How quickly we tire when we try to do it all on our own; the burden becomes huge and seemingly impossible to carry! When we remember that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", tranquility returns to our hearts and the world and our part in it no longer seems so hugely frightening. We can remind ourselves that it is not all up to us; that we are to do each task each day as it comes to us and rely on God to help us actually accomplish it. God never gives us a job that He doesn't also give us the strength to do! Isn't that freeing?

And now my little boy presses his face against mine and giggles, and all my exhaustion seems so insignificant because all I can think is how much I love being his mommy and that I am so thankful to God for giving me this little treasure who calls me "Mama"!